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Title: Pavlovian
Author name: Icarus
Author email: icarus_ancalion@yahoo.com
Count:
Category: Slash
Sub Category: Humor
Rating: R
Pairing: John/Rodney
Summary: 'Orbital planetary defense system. With a multidirectional railgun.' Rodney teases John with imaginary toys.
DISCLAIMER: The characters and universe contained in this story are Copyright MGM, Showtime, Gekko, Double Secret. No infringement on their copyright is implied. Copyright 2006 All rights reserved. This story may not be reproduced in whole or part without the author's explicit permission. Ask, guys. I'm easy to reach and usually generous.
Author notes: Unbeta'd

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Pavlovian
by Icarus

"I swear, it's Pavlovian."

Rodney's bare feet wiggled in the air, the toes crossed as he sprawled on the bed, skin a pink landscape of curves: round shoulders, the small of his back, the two dimples before the crack of a very round ass. He munched a handful of cheese nips and John wrinkled his nose, swiping crumbs off the bed with an irritated gesture. "C'mon," John complained, his voice something between a whine and a growl, "I gotta sleep here."

Rodney licked a finger and picked up exactly one crumb. Smirking. He squirmed further up the bed and said in John's ear, enunciating carefully, "Big... honking... space gun."

John slouched, rolling his eyes at the ceiling, but couldn't help the hint of a smile. "Stop teasing me."

"Look at you! You still light up, and you know it's not even real!"

"So I like guns." John folded his arms over his chest defensively. "It's my job."

"With the destructive capacity to take out a planet," Rodney continued blithely, watching John's face with a predatory gleam.

This time the smile showed John's teeth. He complained, "Stop it...."

"Amazing," Rodney hummed happily, chin on his folded arms. "I bet I could do this in your sleep."

"It's not fair unless you actually have one for me."

Rodney took a thoughtful breath. And then said, "Orbital planetary defense system. With multidirectional railgun."

"Okay, now you're just being mean," John pouted, adding with a lazy gesture, "Unless you plan to invent it."

Rodney blinked. The smile slid from his face in surprise. "I-I probably could."

"What?" John sat up. "You mean that?"

"I don't know why I didn't think of it before... we have all the materials now that we've reestablished contact with earth." Rodney's eyes glazed over, dazed. His hand made an absent gesture as he stared off into space. "We could never do the entire planet of course, but we just have to protect one city. It's completely doable."

"You could design an orbital planetary defense system? With a railgun?" John repeated. "Why didn't we think of this before?"

"I'm a physicist, not a weapon's designer. I don't think like that!" Rodney snapped.

"Well start!"

"I just did!"

John tapped his radio. "Elizabeth, Sheppard here."

"It's late, John, but go ahead."

"Rodney's just had a brainstorm: How would you like an orbital defense system? Gift-wrapped even?"

There was a moment of breathless silence. "I'll be right there."

John and Rodney exchanged glances.

John glanced down at the hair on his chest which had some of Rodney's crumbs in it, the glisten of lube on his stomach, and Rodney's gray t-shirt crumpled under his ass. He took a little breath, licked his lips and said, "I'm thinking we should get dressed."

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Icarus