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Title: Hotel California
Author name: Icarus
Author email: icarus_ancalion@yahoo.com
Category: Slash
Sub Category: Humor, PWP
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Jack/Daniel
Summary: A lazy summer afternoon in Jack's boat. Long, lush porn written for Sodality.
DISCLAIMER: The characters and universe contained in this story are Copyright MGM, Showtime, Gekko, Double Secret. No infringement on their copyright is implied. Copyright © 2005 All rights reserved. This story may not be reproduced in whole or part without the author's explicit permission. Ask, guys. I'm easy to reach and usually generous.
Author notes: Beta'd by Goseaward and edited by Alyse for Sodality by Asidiozines.


Hotel California
By Icarus

"I like mirrored ceilings," Daniel confessed. Jack's fishing line hissed and sang as he cast again, and the boat rocked gently, water slapping the sides.

There was a soft pop as Daniel pried open another beer. He tossed the bottle cap to the rear of the boat with a clatter and Jack winced. He could almost see the fish scattering; Daniel was just bad for fishing.

Jack shifted his hat a little lower to block the sun, his eyebrows raised. "That's a little cheesy, don't you think?"

"Well, yes," Daniel said, squinting. He wasn't wearing any sunglasses. "But they're useful." He'd also made the mistake of wearing cut-offs; a dumb move in an aluminum boat. Jack eyed him with amusement as he shifted carefully on the hot metal.

"Useful." Jack was sure he was leering, but he couldn't help it. Useful?

"I mean, more like 'helpful.'" He squirmed a little more, brushing away a mosquito. "What can I say?" he shrugged. "I like to watch. It's, um, inspiring."

"Well you can't watch unless…" Jack touched his lip as he caught on, and smiled. "…ah."

Daniel's head dipped and his look was somewhere between embarrassed and smug. They grinned at each other, until Daniel found something interesting to study on the bottom of the boat.

The song that had started this conversation trailed off. The Eagles always did suck, and 'Hotel California' was their worst hit. That boombox was another thing that was bad for the fish; Jack was sure the vibrations had scared them off, but it was their compromise and the only thing that got Daniel out of the cabin, away from those damned books.

"So you like it on the bottom, do you?" Jack couldn't help teasing. He leaned back, trying to picture it - then quickly erased that image as being way too vivid. But naked-Daniel was a persistent bastard and kept shifting to different angles instead. Jack squeezed his eyes shut, rubbing awkwardly under his sunglasses.

Daniel licked his lips and swept the t-shirt off from around his neck, dropping it on the seat. He popped the suntan oil open and stroked some more on his legs, voice low and amused as he explained, "It's more comfortable."


Daniel spread his t-shirt out on the bottom of the boat. Jack watched the project with interest. The boat rocked restlessly as Daniel shifted around and finally stretched out for a nap. He settled Jack's baseball cap over his face, head pillowed on a life preserver. Jack could just barely see the glimmer of blue eyes in the shade of the brim.

"I take it you're usually on top?" Those eyes studying him were a bit too sharp.

"Yeah. Generally," Jack answered truthfully. He wrinkled his nose and shrugged a bit. "I don't like to get squashed."

"But if you were with someone petite…"

"Not usually."


"Pretty much not at all."

"So you and ah… you aren't…" Daniel made a vague waving gesture that was somehow crystal clear.

"I knew you were gonna ask about Frasier."

"Well, you two seem to hit it off."

"Nah." Jack shook his head. He reeled in his line, frustrated, sending a V of gentle ripples across the water. "I mean, we get along, but nah."

"Oh. There goes twenty bucks I'll never see again…"

"Daniel, I swear to God, you've got to be the biggest gossip in Cheyenne Mountain," Jack accused, careful not to say 'SGC,' not even here. One reporter was enough. He pulled the dripping line out of the water and checked his bait. Not even a nibble. He sighed; afternoon was the worst time for fishing, but just try to get Daniel out at four am.

Daniel stretched like a cat, chest flexing, pale but with a nice flat stomach. "I get it from Teal'c mostly." He draped hairy legs glistening with oil over Jack's seat. Jack shifted over an inch.


"He's very observant."

"Not if he's pairing me up with the good doctor, he isn't," Jack said wryly, putting his fishing pole away. Daniel had the right idea. The radio announcers started babbling at top volume and Jack clicked it off.

"Oh. No I said Janet. Teal'c had you pegged with… mmm… someone else." Daniel looked away.

Oh? Jack stretched and shrugged his t-shirt off. He felt around and snagged his sunblock. It was cool on his chest as he slathered it on, scraping a little to smooth it off his hair. Daniel was the one who got fancy with the coconut 'cabana boy' stuff. "Such as?" he asked, eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"Um…" Daniel looked guilty. "Maybourne."


Daniel quickly explained, "He said he sensed a sort of connection between the two of you."

"Well yeah, okay. Harry's been sniffin' around me for years." Daniel's eyes widened slightly, though Jack had no idea what he was thinking. "But, it's Maybourne."

Jack rolled his t-shirt up to make a pillow and sprawled out facing Daniel, legs hooked over the edge of the seat, dragging himself closer. He wiggled his feet in the sun. Daniel pulled his chin away with an annoyed glance at them. "He always insinuates that he knows stuff."


"Yeah. Stuff," Jack clarified.

"Ah," Daniel said with a puzzled frown. Then he lifted his head as Jack's admission sank in. "Stuff stuff?"


"Oh." Daniel blinked as he settled back down to stare at the sky. "Wow."

They were quiet a long moment. A slight breezed kicked up, whispering in the willow trees on the shoreline. The boat angled slowly in the direction of the wind, rocking slightly.

"Does he?"


"Know, um, stuff." Daniel licked his lips.

"Not really." Jack swiped away a mosquito and lay back with a sigh, listening to the rock and slap of the water under the boat. It pinged surprisingly loud. He let his head fall to the side to look at Daniel, his pale blond-fuzzed thighs arching next to him. He wondered if he should tell Daniel he could see up those little shorts, and decided against it. "I know the gig. Pretend you know something you don't. Lie a little. Hope that something shakes loose. Getting me into a hotel room has been his biggest wet dream for a long, long time. For a whole lotta reasons."

Daniel peered at him. "Wouldn't that incriminate himself?"

Jack pursed his lips and rocked his head back and forth lazily. "He'd just have to get me there. Wouldn't have to do anything. Of course, we're talking about Maybourne here. He might if he thought he could get away with it." He ran his tongue along the inside of his teeth as he noted Daniel hadn't worn underwear either. He raised an eyebrow and tipped his head for a better view. "But I'm not that stupid."

"I'd hope that you have better taste."

"Oh yeah. You betcha."

Daniel turned in his direction, eyelashes flicking down as he followed where Jack was looking. But he didn't close his legs, and those blue eyes were intense. A little smile curved his lips.

"So. You like to be on top," Daniel said casually.


Jack squinted at him, wondering if he was in trouble.

"And I like to be on the bottom."

Oh. Yeah, he was in trouble all right.

There was a silence as Jack worked this out, calculated the permutations, and briefly wished he had a mirrored ceiling in the cabin. Even if they were tacky. Then it occurred to him. "Technically if you can see the ceiling, it's not the bottom."

He thought it was at least worth mentioning. Daniel's hand moved slightly; his fingertips lightly traced Jack's arm, sending his pulse racing. Jack took a sharp breath.

It took Jack all of a minute to consider parabolic microphones and global positioning satellite photos before he discarded both as unlikely and unsnapped his jeans. His breath came short as he pulled them down and kicked them to the bottom of the boat, wincing as his ass came into contact with hot aluminum. There was faint plosh as something dropped into the water.

He was disappointed to look over and find Daniel still had those shorts on, but he was staring at Jack, lips parted and slack. Jack laughed at him, turning around as he swung a leg over to straddle Daniel's chest ass-backwards, skipping the preliminaries. "Too fast for ya?" he said and couldn't resist biting Daniel's thigh, getting a squirm and a breath of laughter against his ass.

"Oh," Daniel said after a blink. "No, um… yeah. Gimme." He let out a startled-sounding laugh and his hands smoothed around Jack's hips, a little off at first. Then he found Jack's cock, cupping and stroking him from behind.

Eyes shut, Jack pressed into the sweet pressure of his palm, slick and smelling of cocoa butter. Daniel's chest was already sticky-sweaty under his thighs. Jack's callused hand gripped the crotch of Daniel's shorts, squeezing, kneading, until Daniel let out a little moan and arched his hips. His hands let go of Jack to hurriedly unbutton and pull them down, his thick thighs flexing as he struggled to kick them off.

Daniel still had his sandals on, which was a damned funny sight.

Jack paused to admire the ridiculousness of sex, Daniel's broad bare legs sprawled over the aluminum seat, one leg on the gunwale almost knocking off an oar, his hair vanishing higher up his thighs, and ass curving just behind the swell of his balls. With a faint hungry smile, Jack fondled them, grunting as Daniel returned the stroke, forearm brushing his side. His hair was darker than Jack expected, his sleek cock almost aerodynamic-looking. He slicked the fine drop of moisture around the head, and found himself picking out planes to compare it to. The Mirage F-1 maybe?

Jack shook his head, told himself to cut it out, as Daniel pressed rhythmically up into his hand. Impatient, huh? Well then.

His hand around Daniel's cock, Jack slid down his chest several inches till he had Daniel pinned by the shoulders. He squirmed to get a better position… then Daniel gave out a low, bellowing moan - "Oh God…" - as Jack enveloped the tip and then most of the rest of his cock. The second stroke went deeper, and Daniel completely melted, relinquishing control. "Mmmm…" Vocal bastard, but it figured with Daniel.

He followed the subtle pulses of Daniel's dick, Daniel's little hitches and moans and gasping breaths, sucking hard, lifting off to let his hand do the work for a while, then swallowing him back down. Jack couldn't actually deep throat, at least not for long, but he buried his face in musk of coconut and masculine Daniel-sweat. He got an unexpected involuntary jolt out of Daniel, reached around to cup his ass, sucking harder. He hooked his legs under Daniel's arms and sat up, looking for that sweet release. C'mon, baby

The hot wet sweep of tongue in his ass caught him off guard

"Whoa!" Jack glanced around, both eyebrows up in surprise.

"Too fast for you?" Daniel smirked, his face flushed beet red. So he blushed during sex. Interesting. Jack filed that away under things-he-never-thought-he'd-know.

"Nah," Jack breathed a laugh. "Not a chance." Then he tried to concentrate as his cheeks were parted and Daniel's tongue swept up the crack more firmly. "Unngh…"

Forget it. He gave up moving for a lost cause and relaxed on top of Daniel, head dropping to his thigh as that tongue teased and danced in little circles.

Self-satisfied, eyes half-closed, Jack watched Daniel's damp, reddened cock shift and rise. Daniel liked doing this. A lot. Jack blinked mindlessly as he pressed back for a deeper stroke. He mouthed at Daniel's thigh and glanced back curiously. "You really like this."

Not that he minded. It wasn't usually his thing, but hey.

Daniel paused, giving him a funny look from around Jack's thigh. "Hard to talk and do this, Jack."

"Okay." Jack lifted his fingers and let them fall.

Daniel went to work, circling, sliding all the way to his balls, leaving his ass cold; then that wet warmth returned. Jack's eyelashes fluttered. Daniel found a sensitive spot and Jack twitched with a surprised grunt, and slid his legs further apart for more. Daniel's grip shifted as he nuzzled deeper.

It suddenly occurred to Jack: "If I fart, you're doomed."

Daniel froze. And Jack silently cursed a brain-mouth connection that had probably just screwed up a happy afternoon of sex.

But Daniel was more resilient than that. As he should be by now, come to think of it. "Are you?"


"Going to."


"Good," Daniel said in his calm, dry voice.

But he backed away from Jack's ass, and Jack cringed with regret. Only to hear the sharp snap of a cap clicking open and… oh.

Sleek, smooth, warm, wonderful, wonderful oil. Slathered where the sun don't shine as one cooling drop slithered down Jack's leg to the back of his knee. Jack moaned, low and soft, and lipped at Daniel's balls. He was rewarded with a catch in Daniel's breathing.

He bit his lower lip and nudged backwards as the prodding tip of Daniel's finger… hmm… thumb… moved in slow sensuous circles before slipping in. Jack joyfully abandoned all manly dignity as he rose up on his hands and knees and Daniel's warm finger slid in and out, in an oh-so-suggestive motion… the sweet intense pressure not quite enough, not quite there.

With veiled eyes, Jack looked under his arm at Daniel, whose lips were pursed in a kinda silly expression, eyes glazed.

Their eyes locked. Jack moved back and forth, pushing onto him in that gradual rock and slide. It hit home that this was Daniel doing this to him.

Jack's heart raced, unable to look away and his dick rose and hardened. Jack drove back faster, and didn't break that gaze.

He turned around in the boat with a squeak of aluminum and the slosh-slap of water, Daniel's sweaty skin unsticking from his thighs, and showed Daniel some neglected - and damned impressive if he didn't say so himself - Jack anatomy.

Daniel's broad chest rose with a deep breath, those intelligent eyes scanned him hungrily, up and down, sparking with amusement when he reached Jack's smug face. His look purred, "Proud of yourself, are you?" To which Jack broadcast "Affirmative" and he grinned. Daniel's eyes narrowed, crinkled in a smile but he didn't argue. The cap clicked again as Daniel fumbled behind Jack, lifting up a little as he stroked himself hurriedly.

Jack felt Daniel's warm hand circle his ass, curving, smoothing, feeling around, admiring. His eyes shut in bliss.

Jack leaned down for a kiss. Daniel rose up, meeting him halfway, wide open-mouthed and breathless, tongue delving into Jack's mouth, exploring and needy. His teeth glided gently down Jack's jaw.

"You've got a great ass," Daniel murmured, his breath warm in Jack's hair.

"Miss the view?" Jack chuckled in a low voice; he shimmied in Daniel's hands.

Daniel laughed at the sass and answered him with a blunt playful thrust, his dick prodding, aimed but missing his target; his thick warmth slid up the crack instead. Jack leaned on his palms over Daniel, watching him intensely as Daniel reached down and re-aimed - getting three points for accuracy this time.

Mouth in a firm commanding line, Jack bore down on him in one long, hard slide. And Daniel moaned, loud.

Now that scared the crickets.

"…oh fuck," Daniel said in a shaky voice. His eyes softened, and his hands slid to Jack's hips following his motion as Jack controlled the pace.

The boat gently sloshed and rocked forward, then slowly back, water slapping the sides musically. Daniel bit his lip and smirked as his hips rocked up gently. Then he grinned.

Finally he started snickering.

"It's a good thing we're anchored," he said.

"Yep," Jack said, a trickle of sweat dripping into his eyes as he arched downward for a deeper stroke. He glanced over the edge of the boat at the shoreline as he rose up, feeling the solid length of Daniel inside him. "Or we'd be shootin' this baby across the lake by now."

Daniel laughed and squeezed Jack's hips. Tongue between his teeth, he arched to meet Jack for a hard, starry-eyed slam.

Jack blinked. Whoa.

Daniel gasped, then short-circuited Jack's intended slow ride, grabbing again to force himself inside, strong and fierce, leaning up a little, his breaths coming louder. Jack was stunned, then smirked at the roughness. He let go and okaaay… picked up the pace according to Daniel's specifications. People were never how you expected.

Not that he'd been fantasizing about Daniel. Much.

Daniel whimpered aloud, fingers digging into Jack's ass hard enough to bruise. He suddenly held Jack up in mid-stroke, squeezing and forcing in for several short strokes as he came with a gasp.

As Jack draped down for a kiss, Daniel's lips were open and cool under his, barely able to move. Jack moved his ass in slow circles, wringing a last few whimpering sounds out of Daniel, who was suddenly heavy and as limp as a dishrag.

He rocked his dick on Daniel's belly, teasing. Daniel's eyes finally opened.

"I wish I could suck your dick while I did that," Daniel said, dazed.

"There's still time," Jack murmured, easing himself off as Daniel softened. He edged forward while those beautiful lips parted obediently, bright vulnerable eyes staring up at Jack. "That mouth's made to suck cock…"

He wasn't very good, sloppy and too-wet. But Jack made up for that by rocking back and forth, his chin tipped at the sky. He was so close… he exploded with a slow shuddering rush of breath.

He settled back onto Daniel's warm chest. Jack's eyes fluttered open to watch Daniel swallow - well, mostly swallow - looking slightly confused. Not so experienced after all, eh Daniel? Jack smirked inwardly, thinking that was gonna have to change.

"You're pretty quiet," Daniel observed.

"Barracks." Jack shrugged.

Daniel's eyebrows lifted, blinking, eyes full of questions. He sat up a little with a sigh and a lazy smile. He looked like he'd be ready to move in oh, a day or five. Finally he seemed to recall where his fingers had been and reached over the side of the boat to rinse off.

"What's this?"

He fished something white and floating out of the water.

Jack's underwear.

"Oh, son of a bitch!" Jack sat up on his knees and checked the back of the boat. Sure enough, his jeans were long gone, sunk beneath murky water. Jack scowled at his traitorous lake. He suggested to Daniel hopefully, "You know, a gentleman would dive in and fetch my jeans for me."

Daniel eyed the duckweed and lilypads with a suspicious lack of hurry.

"I could make it a command."

Jack supposed he should be insulted by that snort of laughter. Daniel shrugged and dipped Jack's underwear in the lake then started wiping down his dick.

"Gee thanks, Daniel."

"I'll wash them," Daniel reassured him, wringing them out over the edge. "Think of it this way: you could aspire to the perfect tan." Daniel handed Jack his suntan oil and spread the underwear in the sun. "You certainly have enough on you."

Said the wiseguy who didn't deserve any more O'Neill ass.

Jack read the side of the bottle. For a darker, longer lasting tan. "Hey. You think my dick'll tan darker than the rest of me?"

"Given how much I used, probably."


Jack let himself fall gently to the side, wincing. He shifted his butt-cheeks closed, making a face and breathing through that sensation. Whew. Daniel gave him a puzzled glance.

Jack explained, wrinkling his nose, "My ass hurts."

His look turned concerned.

"In a good way," Jack reassured him. "I can take it. But I'm gonna need a minute." He smiled lasciviously at Daniel as he leaned back, pillowing his head on his hands as he carefully lowered his ass to the floor of the boat. "There's always more later where that came from."

He wondered idly if he could rig up a mirrored ceiling in an open-beamed cabin, and gave it up for a lost cause. His house on the other hand…

"I think I can get mirrored tiles at Home Depot," Jack mused, thinking out loud. "But since it's for you, I expect help with the installation."

He glanced over and saw that all expression had wiped from Daniel's face.

Ah, hell.

Plain as a ticker-tape, annoying things like consequences, implications and whatnot - things Jack refused to think about while on vacation - played across Daniel's face.

"So. What does this mean?" Daniel said carefully. Leave it to him to try and spoil a perfectly good idea by thinking too much.

"It means," Jack said patiently to his clearly dim-witted friend, Ph.D.s aside, "that we're gonna be spending a lot more time together."

"We already spend an obscene amount of time together," Daniel pointed out.

"Well then," Jack grinned, "it's about to get a lot more obscene."


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