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Title: Animagick
Author name: Icarus
Author email: icarus_ancalion@yahoo.com
Count:
Category: Er...
Sub Category: Humour
Keywords: Sirius Hagrid Animagus
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Er. This is not my fault. But it's amusing. Sirius Black walks in on an awkward moment for Hagrid, who has more magical talent than was previously known.
DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Copyright © 2004 by Icarus Ancalion. All rights reserved. This story may not be reproduced in whole or part without the author's explicit permission. Ask, guys. I'm easy to reach and usually quite generous.
Author notes: Thank you to Salix Babylon for the Beta review.

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The sweet, heady scent of pine, brisk with a fresh wind and a little rain filled the air. It was old rain, maybe from a week ago, but his dog's nose sensed it as strongly as if it had fallen yesterday, overlaid with that green smell of new growth that rain always brought.

Hmm. Life was good.

Padfoot, also known as Sirius Black, absorbed the gorgeous smells of the night, thick and subtle, layered with meaning. He trotted through the undergrowth to his hideaway. With a nose like this, one scarcely needed eyesight. Everything was so clear. He missed it in human form, often found himself swiping at his nose as if that dulled sense were from being clogged.

The wind shifted as he came around an outcropping, bringing new messages. Padfoot paused, lifting his nose to the air. That was... well, he knew that scent, but it didn't seem possible. Hagrid? Here? And he had brought another hippogriff. The smell was definitely "not-Buckbeak." There was another aroma, too. Padfoot didn't know much about these things, not firsthand (thank goodness), but Sirius identified the scent immediately: sex.

Mating, his dog's brain supplied, with those curious implications of instinct, female, and pack. His dog-mind dismissed it as being of no interest; not of his species. Sirius, on the other hand was puzzled, and he carefully moved closer. Buckbeak was there, yes. Both Hagrid and that other hippogriff smelled strange. Wrong, somehow, though frustratingly he couldn't tell what it was. He padded cautiously towards his lair. Cave, Sirius reminded himself, cave. Sometimes he stayed too long in dog form.

Padfoot's ears angled forward. He caught the feverish sound of feathers ruffling, a bleat and a high-pitched yowl. There was a whuff from one of the hippogriffs, and wings beat frantically. The air outside his cave filled with a heavy thudding sound and the choking scent of dust.

He slunk around the corner. The smell of Hagrid was everywhere, overpowering, overlaid with a heavy sexual musk. But all he could see were two hippogriffs, locked together and scuffing the floor. Buckbeak had the unfamiliar hippogriff pinned with its beak, and the stranger's wings were spread and fluttering madly. They were... both male? Sirius was startled, but his dog's brain dismissed it as not unusual, though useless. Teen pups, without-a-mate.

As he watched, Buckbeak's wings spread for balance as he speeded his frantic rhythm. Suddenly, he squawked, and his light hold on the other animal tightened spasmodically. The strange animal bellowed. Sirius must have blinked, because before him was no longer a hippogriff, but the hunched shape of a man. Hagrid. He clutched his shoulder, and blood stained the rip in his shirt, and ran between his fingers. But Hagrid only had eyes for the hippogriff.

"Eh, there. Yeh didn' know! Yeh didn' know!" Hagrid stroked the startled Buckbeak's feathers. Buckbeat squawked. "I'll fix it up, good as new, see there?"

Hagrid picked up a mangled pink umbrella and aimed it at his wound, which quickly closed.

An Animagus. A Healing Charm. Sirius Black, unaware Hagrid could do magic at all -- wasn't his wand snapped before he finished Hogwarts? -- gaped at the half-giant in shock.

"Oh, hullo, Sirius." Hagrid waved cheerfully. "Jus checkin' on Buckbeak here, seein' if he's all righ' an' all."

Sirius realized that in his shock he had fallen out of Animagus form himself and that he was crouched in the dirt, as if ready to spring. He waved back, somewhat weakly, as he stood. Hagrid turned to Buckbeak, whistling tunelessly. He seemed somewhat nervous.

"You're an Animagus."

Hagrid's shoulders slumped.

"Yeh saw."

Hagrid exhaled windily and sat on a boulder.

"If yeh don' mind, Sirius, I'd appreciate it if yeh don' tell Dumbledore abou'... abou' what yeh saw." Hagrid put his head in his enormous hands. "Seein' as how I ain't allowed to do no magic."

"You're an Animagus?" Sirius couldn't even begin to get over his shock.

Hagrid blushed. "Er. Well, I'd hoped ter be a dragon, yeh see. Tried ter; but with me not being a proper wizard, it, ah, it didn' come out righ'." Hagrid looked quickly over at Buckbeak, who looked a trifle put out, and added loudly. "But a hippogriff, now, that's jus' as good as any dragon! E'en better, in fact!"

Buckbeak looked mollified.

"That's, uh, very complex magic..."

"Well yeh see, there was this chappie down at Rosmerta's -- nice fellow, always good for a drink or two, yeh know what I mean -- an' he'd this magic book that I won at cards, fair and square." The half-giant sounded slightly defensive. "The book, it said how ter do it. An' I thought, `now wouldn' that be nice, ter be a dragon, an' live out among the wild things.' " Hagrid added confidentially, in a hushed voice. "Int'restin' creatures, they're well-meanin', but sometimes they've more respect if yer a teeny bit bigger'n `em. Tha's jus' how they are. So I thought, well then, mebbe I could, ah, become something a little bigger." Hagrid shook his head. "But I didn' manage it."

"Actually, you can't control what kind of creature you will be, Hagrid."

"Really?" Hagrid brightened. "Now, see, not being a proper wizard I wouldn' know that."

"It's... not everyone who can learn to be an Animagus." Sirius himself, though a star pupil at Transfiguration, had tried many times before he'd had any success with it.

"Naaaah. It's easy! Yeh jus' have ter unnerstand wild creatures," Hagrid said.

And that was the answer, wasn't it? Sirius shook his head. Buckbeak started chewing on Hagrid's cloak, though Hagrid didn't appear to notice.

"Yeh won' tell Dumbledore? Abou' me magic?" Hagrid looked at Sirius anxiously.

Sirius snorted. "Of course not!"

Hagrid grinned broadly. Sirius just had one other question.

"Ah. You were, um... with... Buckbeak? A moment ago?" Sirius couldn't quite say it.

"Oh, that? They do that. He don' mean nothin' by it." Hagrid wrapped his huge cloak about himself. "Well. I'm off. Oh -- almost fergot, what with being discovered an' ever'thin'. Here's yer next assignment. I think Dumbledore wants you `under wraps' for a bit." He handed Sirius a small scroll, which Sirius accepted mutely. He stared after Hagrid, who whistled cheerfully until he was out of view.

Sirius shook his head, and blinked. Whew. The place still smelled strongly of hippogriff. He suppressed the dog-like desire to be rid of the scent by marking his territory, and settled for starting the fire instead.

Finis.

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Icarus